1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
