don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
