I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
