We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize