Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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