It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
