Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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