Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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