I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.