That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
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Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
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At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog