When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
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walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
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I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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