Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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