mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.