He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
