New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize