New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.