Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.