I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
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I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
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Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.