Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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