Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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