So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
