I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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