get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
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My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
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I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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