I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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