Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
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People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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