Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Text me some of your sweat
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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