The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
