The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We are all done wearing pants today
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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