I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize