at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
