Jerry, you need to find god
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
