sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
splinters make it hard to masturbate
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?