Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.