I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
