I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
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No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
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I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...