Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?