Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I have post one night stand depression
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