Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
