I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
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I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
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Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
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