We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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