The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
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I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
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We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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