you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
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