he shaved USA in his pubs
zippers are such a cool invention
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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