Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
