I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
it glows. i had to have it.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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