I don't think brook has ever known best
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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