this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We had to coat check the pizza.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
