glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize