I am in a vortex of obligation.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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