If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
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He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
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Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize