Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize