I have demons in me.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
