We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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