At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize