why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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