whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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